Coming Out Of The Closet: My Personal Health Struggle

Brene Quote As I struggle, I turn inward. I put up protective barriers and hide away in my home. I do this because of shame. I am ashamed of my struggle.


We are always told to share the burden, and to look for others to help, but who the heck wants to hear about MY issues? We live in a world of stress, overwhelm, and hurry. So who am I to add to that? Each of you has your own things going on, and don't need to be bothered with mine.


This is how my brain works. I have friends who love to share, and I am ready and willing to listen.  I love to help people through their own hard times, to see them through to the end, to encourage forward movement. I would never treat anyone else the way I treat myself, or let others get away with what I am doing.


I’m not usually a sharer.


So if I don't like to share, why the heck am I posting this on a BLOG?  Because I am going to try it. I am going to open up, share, and hope for the best.


My hope is that what I am going through now is in some way a lesson. That these few months of hell will enable me to help others on a deeper level, and maybe to gain more insight.


I'm coming out. Full disclosure. Honesty hour.  I'm scared though, scared you all may think less of me. But I'm going to risk it.


Life is not all rainbows and sunshine. Even mine.


I began a journey last year. A journey to a new joyful life, full of health and happiness.  I felt and looked better than I ever have in my whole life. But still things can happen.


Lately life has been difficult.  I have felt like I'm drowning.  Flailing helplessly in a whirlpool.  Which is why, for those of you who know me, you haven’t seen much of me. Life has been full of stress, anxiety, depression, weight gain, sleeplessness, fatigue and a feeling of being completely out of control.


As a nutritional therapist I am always looking for reasons, for the why. What is the root cause to an issue? Every person is a new puzzle to solve, and that puzzle is what makes me light up! But when I am the puzzle, it becomes a bit complicated.  Even therapists need therapists right?


Recently I got some blood tests because I needed more to work with, more information. After months of feeling completely lost, desperate and out of control I have a better idea of what is going on. Here it is. My secret. My coming out moment. You all thought it was that other stuff, but that was just the lead up.  I have hypothyroidism.


So I'm on a mission. To regain my body's balance.  To learn as much as I can about hypothyroidism, to get to the bottom of what is going on inside me.


There it is.  None of us are perfect.  Things happen that are out of our control, and I am choosing to face them with courage and strength.   To not give in to defeat.  There is always a cause, a reason, and a solution.