Making The Harder Choice

When people hear how I’ve been living, being a gypsy, a vagabond and a nomad, the biggest question I get is "how?"

How do I afford it is the most popular of the "how’s."

Perhaps you are thinking it.  What does that girl even do? How is she making money? Is her fiance funding this?

It’s okay if you were thinking it.

I want to be extremely open about this. It’s an awkward and tough topic but I know it’s something that stands in the way to many people going after what they want in life.

To be clear: for me, there was no other option.

What does that mean?

I have to make this lifestyle happen for my own well being.  I’ve given up the belief that being a martyr makes me a better person. Well, let's be real, each day I must actively choose to decide that being a martyr does not make me a better person.

Continuing to suffer when I have the power to change my situation, no matter how scary and risky it is, just isn’t okay for me.

We’ve all come across a situation where we had to make something that seemed impossible happen.

Those times that perhaps we:

  • unexpectedly lost our job
  • got pregnant
  • suffered a break up
  • had a loss in the family
  • our lease is up with no option to renew
  • we become ill and couldn’t work

When these situations happen, our whole life changes.  We have to re-prioritize, ask for help, look for new or different resources.

All of a sudden what seemed impossible, is possible because there is no other option.

Similar to those situations, for me, there was no other option.  My happiness and wellbeing depended on me making a lifestyle shift.

This means my priorities are way different than a lot of peoples.  Probably very different than those that ask me ‘how.’

If our priorities lie in a job that is immobile, climbing the corporate ladder, if it’s in buying gadgets, or having a house than that’s where money and time will go.  None of these things are bad or wrong, they are just different priorities.

My priorities shifted to healing, happiness and exploration and I’ve given up a lot of things because of that.  It became clear to me that until I satisfied those building a career that I found joy in may not be possible and that it would be difficult to offer something of value to others in the state I was in.

What I gave up may be things that those with other priorities won’t give up, and that’s okay.

For instance I don’t have a lot of things. I sold most of my possessions.  I gave up a lease in the city, I gave up multiple jobs that provided me with a bit more financial security.  I gave these things up because they kept me stuck in one place.

The scariest thing for most people is that financial security part and it’s scary as hell for me too.

At one time I did make a good amount of money (because bartending) and I never have been one to spend a lot and so I saved.  I saved what I thought would become the down payment to a house.

It turns out that just wasn’t what my journey was going to be.

So now, I’m using that savings.  That unfortunately does have and end. Yes, it is dwindling much faster than I would like but when I look back I can say I do not regret my choices.

I also have an amazing partner who is helping to support me on my road to recovery and entrepreneurship.  (which has been ridiculously challenging)

He knows first hand the struggle to making your dream a reality and although it’s difficult for me to receive help he is willing to provide me with it. When I think about things the other way around if the tables were turned of course I would do the same.  We are partners for life and everyone keeps telling me sometimes that means accepting help from that person...I'm still trying to get it through my thick skull.

So financially, between my own savings and being blessed with a loving and supportive partner I’m figuring it out.  It isn’t easy, don’t get me wrong.  Is it cushy?  No.

I’ve had to swallow my pride and ego.

Which means a lot of things.  In transition that could mean taking odd jobs that take no commitment but provide a bit of money, or a short term job that isn’t your dream.  It can mean asking people for help or getting a loan.

But with my goals in mind, I make decisions based on that.  Even if they are hard and uncomfortable.

If we want something all we have to do is choose it.  I know it sounds simple, and perhaps silly, but that’s all there is to it.

Make the harder decision to get the ultimate goal and keep in mind why the hell it's important.  Take risks, get resourceful, have faith and keep moving forward.

It’s easy to make up ‘but’s’ and excuses.  Clients, job, house, kids, family...there will always be something.  Let me repeat: there will always be something.  The time is never perfect.

When we want it bad enough we will find a way.

There will always be a reason not to.

I would highly suggest starting to save up some sort of cushion.

Which is what I did, although I didn’t realize it was for this.  Maybe with a look at finances it will appear, or the purpose of a previous investment can shift for now.

I remember reading financial books that said to have enough savings just in case you were out of work for six months. Never did I think that would happen, but here I am.

Build up 6 months worth of living expenses and make all of your decisions based on the ultimate goal.

Are extra cable channels really necessary?  How important is eating out multiple times a week?  Or can that money go toward your goal?

It’s not about living in such a way that doesn't allow any joy in the life you do have, but instead shifting priorities and sometimes that does mean sacrificing some luxuries.  Doing this also teaches us the wonderful lesson that all the things we buy in our consumer driven culture aren't equal to fulfillment or happiness. We cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the simpler things in life.

With our eye on the prize it’s all worth it anyway.

So how?
1. It’s non negotiable, there is no other choice
2. Make certain sacrifices and re-prioritize.
3. Work toward giving up ego

If you want it go out and get it.  Whatever your dream or life design looks it's time stop using 'impossible' as an excuse and just admit that it's either not what we really want or it's scary.

There will always be reason or excuse not to. People make the seemingly impossible happen each day. What I've found is unique to them is a persistence, a passion, a positive attitude, enough preparation to have a clear idea of what they want and a bit of resourcefulness (dammit I messed up all the p's!).

The goal or dream may not happen tomorrow or next week.  It could be a year or more.  Things always take longer than expected, at least that's what I've found to be true. But with our goals in mind and our priorities aligned things will shift and the light at the end of the tunnel will start to shine.

***In the name of complete transparency I still have to work on reminding myself of this every single day. Some days are tough and things feel heavy and the obstacles insurmountable. What I am very clear on is giving up will get me absolutely nowhere other than unhappy, unfulfilled and disappointed. None of those things are what I want for my life.

-Tera-

PS. The light at the end of the tunnel is happening! I have my first offering nearly ready to put out there into the world to you all. Yoga for Healing is nearly done! Are you interested?  Enter your email here to get updates, specials and info as it all unfolds.