This is a letter to you:
To those who have traveled the road of addiction, and who struggle to find their way back.
To all who think it’s too late or too much.
I have been a hairstylist for 18 years, I like it but I have never been in love with it. Part of the reason I have never been in love with much really is that I have not known myself.
Through peeling away the layers, at the age of 48, I am now getting to know myself and I am also falling in love, with Karen.
What I now know about myself is that I was a very lonely child and I was terrified of my intuition. As soon as I learned how to numb myself with food, drugs and alcohol, I was off to the races.
All of the drugs, alcohol, sugar, gluten, coffee and cigarettes began to take a toll on my health in my mid thirties. I sought medical help for digestive issues, fatigue and chronic bronchitis.
Ridding my body of Candida became the focus, all the while I was not changing my unhealthy habits for any length of time. For years I went on and off sugar and substances. Needless to say, my digestive issues progressed.
As of today, I have seven years of sobriety, a few months without gluten or sugar and my food choices become more narrow by the day.
This will go on for the rest of my life, this repair work. Now I’m adding emotional healing into the mix through trauma work and functional medicine.
I read a quote the other day,
“I hold my caregiver responsible for what happened to me but I am responsible for the symptoms of my codependency.”
I am responsible for my symptoms of trauma, my desperate need to feel loved and my health. I have worked an AA program, OA program and am reading Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction (great books). I am beginning to feel whole and my inside is starting to match my outside.
I began a meditation practice in March and it has changed my cellular makeup and my brain. Meditation is saving my life after two sudden deaths in my family, menopause and a very sad divorce.
So here I sit in my new office looking at beautiful Seattle knowing God has a plan for me bigger than I can dream up myself. I now know that pain, frustration, fear and joy come and go each day, it will never not be like this. Each day is an opportunity to open to the unknown, let go and ride the waves of life.
I no longer wish for my life to be different for it only brings suffering. My life is exactly what God wants it to be right now at this moment. I can honestly say I am grateful for the challenges each day brings.
May you find happiness through healing physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I am so grateful to have Karen as a friend and colleague. Her strength, bravery and determination are continually inspiring. She defies the odds and proves that it's never too late to go after the life you want.
Karen is a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner who specializes in recovery work. She knows the journey and is passionate about helping other's to heal their bodies from addiction. You can connect with her on Facebook or contact her at Nutritionkarenp@gmail.com for more information on how to get started.
PS. Remember to share this post! It may be just the think someone needs to read today to get started on their road to health and happiness.